The organisation of Live 8, the follow-up to the legendary Live Aid, has removed the Spice Girls from the line-up because : "Live 8 organisers were adamant their style of music did not fit in with the serious political message about world poverty the transatlantic event hopes to portray." The article goes on to say that '"the girls will be gutted by the decision".
Ah, at least Geldof, sorry - Sir Bob - has a sense of gravitas. But on the other hand : wasn't the rising star Madonna Ciccione a big hit at Live Aid in 1985? Hmmmm...
You can find the article here.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
My dad wants to say hi.
Pa in de bocht... Een ingezonden brief.
Beste lezers,
Was er in Nederland maar een man die alles op een vertaalbare manier oploste. Zo'n man die iedereen vertrouwt, intelligent is en zorgzaam. Iemand die er niet op uit is na zijn politieke carriere in commissariaten te grossieren of een topbaantje waar dan ook ambieert. Geen Jorritsma, May-Weggen, Wiegel of de salonsocialist-berentemmer van der Louw. Hij mag zelfs kaal zijn of nog beter hij MOET kaal zijn, want kale ezels heb je niet. De gezochte man moet er absoluut op tegen zijn een deel van zijn salaris af te staan aan de partijkas, want dan gaat hij er mee vandoor. Hij moet ook niets tegen Nederlanders, homo's, Surinamers kortom wie dan ook hebben want dan weet hij waar hij eindigt. Kortom de gezochte man moet met iedereen goede vrienden zijn. Als het kan moet hij een zoon en een dochter hebben met een goede baan, b.v. in de computerwerkzaamheden. Dan scoor je goed! Hij moet als dat kan goed bevriend zijn met de Amerikaanse president, kijk maar in het verleden naar Luns, en nu naar De Hoop-Scheffer, die is alleen op zijn eerste naam gekozen. Natuurlijk moet hij zijn vrouw trouw zijn en niet als zovelen tegenwoordig enige buitenechtelijke kinderen hebben, i.v.m. de kinderbijslag is dat ook nog oplichten van de staat.
Beste lezers, u zult zeggen ,,zo'n man bestaat niet'' en dan zeg ik ,,jawel''. Als u het met de vorige punten eens bent kunt maar EEN man kiezen en dat is mijn vader, die al deze problemen voor u oplost.
U hoeft slechts 100 Euro te storten op zijn Giro t.n.v. A. J. Baartwijk. Als u hier in groten getale gehoor aan geeft, krijgt na 3 maanden een kaartje uit Torremolinos met de beste groeten.
Dat is pas service vindt u niet?
Rob Baartwijk
Zo, en nu weet u meteen waar die afwijking van mij vandaan komt...
Beste lezers,
Was er in Nederland maar een man die alles op een vertaalbare manier oploste. Zo'n man die iedereen vertrouwt, intelligent is en zorgzaam. Iemand die er niet op uit is na zijn politieke carriere in commissariaten te grossieren of een topbaantje waar dan ook ambieert. Geen Jorritsma, May-Weggen, Wiegel of de salonsocialist-berentemmer van der Louw. Hij mag zelfs kaal zijn of nog beter hij MOET kaal zijn, want kale ezels heb je niet. De gezochte man moet er absoluut op tegen zijn een deel van zijn salaris af te staan aan de partijkas, want dan gaat hij er mee vandoor. Hij moet ook niets tegen Nederlanders, homo's, Surinamers kortom wie dan ook hebben want dan weet hij waar hij eindigt. Kortom de gezochte man moet met iedereen goede vrienden zijn. Als het kan moet hij een zoon en een dochter hebben met een goede baan, b.v. in de computerwerkzaamheden. Dan scoor je goed! Hij moet als dat kan goed bevriend zijn met de Amerikaanse president, kijk maar in het verleden naar Luns, en nu naar De Hoop-Scheffer, die is alleen op zijn eerste naam gekozen. Natuurlijk moet hij zijn vrouw trouw zijn en niet als zovelen tegenwoordig enige buitenechtelijke kinderen hebben, i.v.m. de kinderbijslag is dat ook nog oplichten van de staat.
Beste lezers, u zult zeggen ,,zo'n man bestaat niet'' en dan zeg ik ,,jawel''. Als u het met de vorige punten eens bent kunt maar EEN man kiezen en dat is mijn vader, die al deze problemen voor u oplost.
U hoeft slechts 100 Euro te storten op zijn Giro t.n.v. A. J. Baartwijk. Als u hier in groten getale gehoor aan geeft, krijgt na 3 maanden een kaartje uit Torremolinos met de beste groeten.
Dat is pas service vindt u niet?
Rob Baartwijk
Zo, en nu weet u meteen waar die afwijking van mij vandaan komt...
Monday, May 30, 2005
The European Constipation IV
Oh my Gods, the French have said NO! I hear them rant and I think of Private Frazier in Dad's Army : We're doomed, DOOOOoomed I Say!!!
And still, the politicians are wallowing in their 'We Know Everything Better So Vote Yes, Close Your Eyes And Go To Sleep-mode.' What I would give for a proper, intelligent, reasonable politician I could vote for. One who actually listens to the public before he or she acts.
Then again, as Londo Molari so beautifully said : "VIR! Intelligence has nothing to do with politics!".
And still, the politicians are wallowing in their 'We Know Everything Better So Vote Yes, Close Your Eyes And Go To Sleep-mode.' What I would give for a proper, intelligent, reasonable politician I could vote for. One who actually listens to the public before he or she acts.
Then again, as Londo Molari so beautifully said : "VIR! Intelligence has nothing to do with politics!".
Friday, May 27, 2005
The European Constipation III
Translation for all you non-dutch out there : "If you do not vote for Europe on june the first we will kill this dog."
Brilliant. This is the basic level of the discussion about the constitution. This is an entry in a fotofuck at GeenStijl.nl. I hope I am not breaking any copyrightlaws but then again; I have included a link to GS. Just click on the picture to surf on.
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
The European Constipation II
To the dutch government.
Sirs and madams,
Political Holland is trying again to prove with all possible means that people who want to vote NO are no good :
- We don't mind war in Europe because it is destined to happen without the treaty and all because we said NO. BTW : This Is Not A Constitution Goddammit! This is a treaty!
- We are not informed or too sceptical so we shouldn't vote at all. Did a minister in the government actually SAY this??? You are not supposed to vote NO??? Throw that idiot out of politics NOW please, before he starts telling me what to think and what to have for breakfast.
- Oh my God, the euro-politicians cry, we are sooooo in need of this treaty. I wonder how Europe managed to survive without it the last 20 years or so.
I am pro-Europe. I am pro-constitution. But I am NOT in favour of this badly designed, quickly written, compromising RAG.
Here's an example : In the constitution it is very simple to state that "every citizen has freedom of speech". Period. That is one sentence. It is almost admirable to see how they managed to pollute the basic principles of democracy so they could turn this treaty in a document hundreds of pages long.
So NO, thank you very much. Because I want to see failsafe mechanisms that will prevent abuse of the constitution, and they are not there. As a matter of fact; I am not a politician and even I can think of numerous ways in which political Europe can go around this treaty. But of course we have to trust the wise people in Brussels and Strassbourg. Ri-i-ght, like they have done such a fantastic job so far. The fact is that Germany or France say "JUMP!" and the Netherlands will only ask "How high?". More so with this treaty than without it.
So be damned with your sell-out constitution. Do your homework properly before you ask me for my opinion. Perhaps you could actually check what the people of Europe want? Nah, that's useless isn't it?
And for Christ's sake; reduce it to the size of the average constitution will you? Typically between 30 and 50 pages. Then we will finally be able to read it properly and understand it. Or is that exactly what you do NOT want us to do?
Oh and by the way; make sure you include control over the European Government by its citizens. Because that is lacking to the extreme at the moment. And don't try to send us away with '1 million citizens will be allowed to humbly ask a question as long as we are polite and from 'a significant number of countries'" because we do not buy that crap.
Rob.
Sirs and madams,
Political Holland is trying again to prove with all possible means that people who want to vote NO are no good :
- We don't mind war in Europe because it is destined to happen without the treaty and all because we said NO. BTW : This Is Not A Constitution Goddammit! This is a treaty!
- We are not informed or too sceptical so we shouldn't vote at all. Did a minister in the government actually SAY this??? You are not supposed to vote NO??? Throw that idiot out of politics NOW please, before he starts telling me what to think and what to have for breakfast.
- Oh my God, the euro-politicians cry, we are sooooo in need of this treaty. I wonder how Europe managed to survive without it the last 20 years or so.
I am pro-Europe. I am pro-constitution. But I am NOT in favour of this badly designed, quickly written, compromising RAG.
Here's an example : In the constitution it is very simple to state that "every citizen has freedom of speech". Period. That is one sentence. It is almost admirable to see how they managed to pollute the basic principles of democracy so they could turn this treaty in a document hundreds of pages long.
So NO, thank you very much. Because I want to see failsafe mechanisms that will prevent abuse of the constitution, and they are not there. As a matter of fact; I am not a politician and even I can think of numerous ways in which political Europe can go around this treaty. But of course we have to trust the wise people in Brussels and Strassbourg. Ri-i-ght, like they have done such a fantastic job so far. The fact is that Germany or France say "JUMP!" and the Netherlands will only ask "How high?". More so with this treaty than without it.
So be damned with your sell-out constitution. Do your homework properly before you ask me for my opinion. Perhaps you could actually check what the people of Europe want? Nah, that's useless isn't it?
And for Christ's sake; reduce it to the size of the average constitution will you? Typically between 30 and 50 pages. Then we will finally be able to read it properly and understand it. Or is that exactly what you do NOT want us to do?
Oh and by the way; make sure you include control over the European Government by its citizens. Because that is lacking to the extreme at the moment. And don't try to send us away with '1 million citizens will be allowed to humbly ask a question as long as we are polite and from 'a significant number of countries'" because we do not buy that crap.
Rob.
The European Constipation
I could go on and on and on... so let me suffice by saying that if I would have written this European Constitution for a school-essay I would have been failed miserably... Mein Gott what a mess, such contradictions, such FUD by the dutch government.
We should have a contest 'Who can find the most inconsistencies in the new constitution". Instead the government participates in a gameshow... AAAAAAARRRRRGHHHHHHHH!! Where Is The Leadership This Country Needs?
Is this the Netherlands or was I moved to a second world country while I was sleeping?
We should have a contest 'Who can find the most inconsistencies in the new constitution". Instead the government participates in a gameshow... AAAAAAARRRRRGHHHHHHHH!! Where Is The Leadership This Country Needs?
Is this the Netherlands or was I moved to a second world country while I was sleeping?
Friday, May 13, 2005
Good Filk
Original song Hotel California
Original artist The Eagles
Filk author Brian Marshall
Satan C Compiler
First I tore off the wrapping, then I took out the Disk
I never noticed the warningsign of the label that said "RISK!"
Then I picked up the licence, read the Guarantee
It said that all the code I'd write would be fully bug-free
I put the disk onto drive A, the hard disk started to smoke
The smell of sulfur everywhere, my eyes burned, I started to choke
Then my amber monitor started glowing dark green
Smoke slowly started to rise as I saw the startup Screen
And it said...
Welcome to the SATAN C Compiler...
You'll write perfect code, it'll always load,,
We're so glad you bought the SATAN C Compiler
Bug Free's the Goal
But it'll cost your soul....
I just stared at the terminal, I think it stared back at me,
Then I laughed at the practical joke, and settled down to use this C
I wrote a HUGE multitasking Database just for fun,
with built in datebook and spreadsheet to boot
I never thought it'd run...
I left pointers dangling, coerced types every place,
My memory management problems with "alloc" not even lint could erase.
But I put in stub modules and prepared for the test
It compiled in half a second flat, God was I impressed!
All the modules were working, even the stubs were armed
I knew right then and there my coding was great
Welcome to the SATAN C Compiler,
you'll always write perfect code,
It'll always load,
But now you must pay for the SATAN C Compiler,
Although it works just swell, it'll never sell!
And now I sit in my Basement, Starving, Broke, and Alone
I never speak to anyone although I sometimes moan.
But I thought that I'd warn you to not touch that disk,
The One that Infernal Business Machines wimply Labels 'RISK!'
But for me it's too late, I can't get out of this Hell,
I stab at ctrl-alt-del. but I just can't Kill the Shell.
All I get is one message, and the text makes me grieve
"You can Logoff any time you like but you can never leave.."
Welcome to the SATAN C Compiler,
you'll always write perfect code
It'll always load
You better not go near the SATAN C Compiler.
If you do, my friend, It'll be your end....
Original source
Original artist The Eagles
Filk author Brian Marshall
Satan C Compiler
First I tore off the wrapping, then I took out the Disk
I never noticed the warningsign of the label that said "RISK!"
Then I picked up the licence, read the Guarantee
It said that all the code I'd write would be fully bug-free
I put the disk onto drive A, the hard disk started to smoke
The smell of sulfur everywhere, my eyes burned, I started to choke
Then my amber monitor started glowing dark green
Smoke slowly started to rise as I saw the startup Screen
And it said...
Welcome to the SATAN C Compiler...
You'll write perfect code, it'll always load,,
We're so glad you bought the SATAN C Compiler
Bug Free's the Goal
But it'll cost your soul....
I just stared at the terminal, I think it stared back at me,
Then I laughed at the practical joke, and settled down to use this C
I wrote a HUGE multitasking Database just for fun,
with built in datebook and spreadsheet to boot
I never thought it'd run...
I left pointers dangling, coerced types every place,
My memory management problems with "alloc" not even lint could erase.
But I put in stub modules and prepared for the test
It compiled in half a second flat, God was I impressed!
All the modules were working, even the stubs were armed
I knew right then and there my coding was great
Welcome to the SATAN C Compiler,
you'll always write perfect code,
It'll always load,
But now you must pay for the SATAN C Compiler,
Although it works just swell, it'll never sell!
And now I sit in my Basement, Starving, Broke, and Alone
I never speak to anyone although I sometimes moan.
But I thought that I'd warn you to not touch that disk,
The One that Infernal Business Machines wimply Labels 'RISK!'
But for me it's too late, I can't get out of this Hell,
I stab at ctrl-alt-del. but I just can't Kill the Shell.
All I get is one message, and the text makes me grieve
"You can Logoff any time you like but you can never leave.."
Welcome to the SATAN C Compiler,
you'll always write perfect code
It'll always load
You better not go near the SATAN C Compiler.
If you do, my friend, It'll be your end....
Original source
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Friday, May 06, 2005
Professor Doctor Jerry Pournelle
From Jerry Pournelle's log :
Rules of Computerdom
1. There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.
2. A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
3. The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHH!!'.
4. At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer, you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer.
5. Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it's released. Beta is Latin for "still doesn't work."
6. Computer analyst to programmer: "You start coding. I'll go find out what they want."
7. Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow.
8. Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
9. Hit any user to continue.
10. I wish life had an UNDO function.
11. If your computer says, "Printer out of Paper," this problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the "OK" button.
12. It said "Insert disk 3..." but only 2 fit in the drive.
13. Microsoft Windows: computing While U Wait
14. 665.9238429876 - Number of the Pentium Beast
15. I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
16. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. 17. Programming graphics in X is like finding sqrt(pi) using Roman numerals.
18. "To know recursion, you must first know recursion"
19. Life's unfair - but root password helps!
20. Mountain Dew and doughnuts... because breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
21. Hey! It compiles! Ship it!
22. "Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
23. Intel: We put the "um..." in Pentium.
24. Helpdesk tip #2: When the support analyst says "Click...", wait for the rest of the sentence.
25. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
26. BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
27. As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
28. Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
29. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
30. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
31. All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
32. A good programmer makes all the right mistakes.
33. Managing programmers is like herding cats.
34. "There is an old saying that if a million monkeys typed on a million keyboards for a million years, eventually all the works of Shakespeare would be produced. Now, thanks to Usenet, we know this is not true."
35. "A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street."
36. C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot. C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
37. A computer scientist is someone who, when told to "Go to H---," sees the "go to," rather than the destination, as harmful.
38. 1010011010 - The binary number of the Beast
39. APATHY ERROR: Don't bother striking any key. Application has reported a "Not My Fault" in module KRNL.EXE in line 0200:103F
40. "The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware type with a software patch and a user with an idea."
Jim Woosley
Rules of Computerdom
1. There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works.
2. A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
3. The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHH!!'.
4. At the source of every error which is blamed on the computer, you will find at least two human errors, including the error of blaming it on the computer.
5. Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it's released. Beta is Latin for "still doesn't work."
6. Computer analyst to programmer: "You start coding. I'll go find out what they want."
7. Computer Science: solving today's problems tomorrow.
8. Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
9. Hit any user to continue.
10. I wish life had an UNDO function.
11. If your computer says, "Printer out of Paper," this problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the "OK" button.
12. It said "Insert disk 3..." but only 2 fit in the drive.
13. Microsoft Windows: computing While U Wait
14. 665.9238429876 - Number of the Pentium Beast
15. I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
16. My software never has bugs. It just develops random features. 17. Programming graphics in X is like finding sqrt(pi) using Roman numerals.
18. "To know recursion, you must first know recursion"
19. Life's unfair - but root password helps!
20. Mountain Dew and doughnuts... because breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
21. Hey! It compiles! Ship it!
22. "Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
23. Intel: We put the "um..." in Pentium.
24. Helpdesk tip #2: When the support analyst says "Click...", wait for the rest of the sentence.
25. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
26. BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
27. As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
28. Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
29. Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.....
30. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
31. All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
32. A good programmer makes all the right mistakes.
33. Managing programmers is like herding cats.
34. "There is an old saying that if a million monkeys typed on a million keyboards for a million years, eventually all the works of Shakespeare would be produced. Now, thanks to Usenet, we know this is not true."
35. "A good programmer is someone who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street."
36. C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot. C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
37. A computer scientist is someone who, when told to "Go to H---," sees the "go to," rather than the destination, as harmful.
38. 1010011010 - The binary number of the Beast
39. APATHY ERROR: Don't bother striking any key. Application has reported a "Not My Fault" in module KRNL.EXE in line 0200:103F
40. "The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware type with a software patch and a user with an idea."
Jim Woosley
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Exploring Mars
Controllers are worried the radar's long antenna booms will swing back and hit delicate components on the probe....
More
Monday, May 02, 2005
Sunday, May 01, 2005
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